Every capable villain and resourceful tyrant employs key henchmen to lord over the countless minions that carry out his ruthless bidding. In my case, I construct technological wonders: computers of terrifying efficiency and horrific power singularly focused upon their primary missions. I collectively call these my "robots," which I list here for posterity.

Table of Contents



Primary Gaming

Commissioned: August 2019
Mission: Grand Strategy
Refits: December 2021
OS: Windows 11 Pro 64-Bit


  • Case: Lian-Li PC-011 Dynamic White ATX Tower
  • Motherboard: ASUS ROG Strix X-570-E ATX
  • Processor: AMD Ryzen 9 5950X 16-Core 32-Thread 3.9 Ghz
    • Thermal: Grizzly Kryonaut Thermal Grease
    • Cooler: Crucial Hydro H150i Extreme Performance Liquid CPU Cooler 
  • Memory: Crucial DDR-4 3200 64 Gb RAM
  • Graphics: EVGA GeForce RTX 3090 FTW3 Ultra Hybrid Gaming Liquid Cooled
  • Storage Arrays:
    • Inland NVMe M.2 1 Tb SSD Drive
    • Western Digital Black NVMe M.2 SN750 1 Tb SSD Drive
    • Crucial BX500 2 Tb 3d NAND SATA SSD Drive
    • Crucial CT SATA SSD 512 Gb Drive
  • Power Supply: ASUS ROG Thor 850 Watt Pro Modular PSU
  • Fans: Corsair LL Series LL120 120mm Dual Light Loop RGP LED PVM Fan 3-Pack with Lighting Node Pro


  • Samsung Odyssey G9 C49RG9 49" Curved 120 Hz FreeSync HDR LCD


  • Corsair K70 Mk.2 SE Mechanical Rapid Fire Gaming Keyboard RGB LED Cherry MX Speed
  • Corsair M65 Elite RGB 18,000 DPI FPS Gaming Mouse with Sniper Controls
  • Corsair MM800 Polaris RGB Mouse Pad
  • Corsair ST100 RGB LED Headset Stand with 7.1 Surround Sound
  • Razer Tartarus Pro v2 Mechanical Gaming Pad
  • Sea of Thieves Limited Edition Wireless X-Box Controller
  • TC-Helicon Go-XLR 4-Channel Streaming Mixer
  • Samson G Track Pro Cardioid USB Condenser Microphone, with Pop Filter and Boom Stand for Streaming and Broadcasting
  • Astro A40 Pro Headset with Mixamp and Cloudlifter
  • Corsair CA-9011180 Virtuoso RGB Wireless Gaming Headset in White
  • Bose Companion 3 Series II Speakers with Subwoofer
  • Roland MT-32 Multi Timbre Sound Module


Content Creation

Commissioned: December 2016
Mission: Command and Control
Refits: None
OS: Windows 10 Pro 64-Bit


  • Case: NZXT Noctis 450 Mid-Tower Black and Red LED Case
  • Motherboard: ASUS ROG Maximus VIII Hero ATX
  • Processor: Intel Core i7 6700K Unlocked LGA 1151 4.0 Ghz Octo-Core
    • Cooler: Corsair H115i Extreme Performance 280mm Liquid CPU Cooler
  • Memory: G.Skill TridentZ DDR4-3400 64 Gb RAM
  • Graphics: ASUS ROG Strix GeForce GTX 1080 8 Gb GDDR5 Enhanced Edition
  • Capture: Elgato Game Capture 4K60 Pro Mk.2 PCIe Capture Card
  • Storage: Samsung NVMe SSD 960 EVO M.2 1 Tb Drive
  • Power Supply: EVGA Supernova Platinum-2 1210-Watt PSU


  • Dell UltraSharp U3415W 34-Inch Curved LED Monitor
Dell UltraSharp U3415W 34-Inch Curved LED Monitor


  • Corsair Gaming K70 LUX RGB Mechanical Keyboard, Cherry MX RGB Brown
  • ASUS ROG Gladius 12000 DPI Optical Gaming Mouse
  • Razer Orbweaver Mechanical Gaming Pad
  • Elgato Stream Deck and Stream Deck XL
  • Roland SC-55 Sound Canvas MIDI Sound Generator
  • Razer Kiyo Pro UHD Webcam



Commissioned: December 2019
Refits: None
Mission: Strategic Operations
OS: MacOS Sonoma 14


  • Laptop: MacBook Pro (16-inch, Late 2019) in Space Gray
  • Processor: Intel Core i9 9th Gen 2.4 Ghz 8-Core 5.0 Ghz Turbo with 16MB Shared L3 Cache
  • Memory: 64 Gb 2666 Mhz DDR4 Onboard RAM
  • Graphics: AMD Radeon Pro 5600M with 8 Gb of HBM2 Memory
  • Storage: 8 Tb SSD


  • ASUS ROG Swift Curved PG348Q Curved 34" G-SYNC Gaming Monitor


  • External GPU Enclosure
    • Razer Core X Chroma Aluminum eGPU with 700W Power Supply Unit
    • AMD Radeon RX 7900 XT 16 Gb GDDR6 Graphics Card
  • "Tatooine" - NK87 Aluminum Edition Cosmic Purple TKL Keyboard with Hotswap PCB with SA Tatooine ABS Double-Shot Keycaps Limited Edition, Drop + Invyr Holy Panda Mechanical Switches, Krytox 205g0 Linear Lubricant
  • "Stargazer" - Glorious Gaming Modular Keyboard GMMK-RGB with Drop DSA Astrolokeys Keycaps, Everglide Dark Jade Mechanical Switches
  • Corsair Sabre RGB 10,000 DPI Gaming Mouse
  • Logitech Z533 Speaker System with Subwoofer
  • Samson G Track Pro Cardioid USB Condenser Microphone
  • Audio-Technica ATH-M50x Professional Studio Monitor Headphones
  • Logitech for Creators Litra Glow Premium LED Stream Light



Commissioned: May 2021
Mission: First Strike
Refits: None
OS: Windows 10 Pro 64-Bit


  • Laptop: ASUS ROG Zephyrus G15 15.6" QHD Gaming Laptop
  • Processor: AMD Ryzen 9 5900 HS
  • Graphics: NVIDIA GeForce RTX 3080
  • Memory: 32 Gb DDR4-3200 RAM
  • Storage: 2 Tb SSD


  • Razer DeathAdder Gaming Mouse in Mercury White
  • Razer Orbweaver Mechanical Gaming Pad
  • Steel Series Arctis Pro Gaming Headset


The Centurion

Commissioned: March 2024
Mission: Expeditionary
OS: Windows 11 64-Bit


  • Device: Lenovo Legion Go
  • Processor: AMD Ryzen Z1 Extreme
  • Memory: 16 Gb LPDDR5X 7500 Mhz RAM
  • Display: 8.8" QHD (2560 x 1600) IPS 144 Hz Touch Screen
  • Graphics: AMD RDNA Graphics
  • Storage: 1 Tb PCIe 4.0 NVMe M.2 2242


The Un-Laptop

Commissioned: January 2016
Refits: None
Mission: Tactical Warfare
OS: Windows 10 64-Bit


  • Laptop: ASUS ROG G752VY-DH72
  • Processor: Intel Core i7-6700HQ 2.6 Ghz
  • Memory: 32 Gb DDR4-2133 RAM
  • Graphics: ASUS NVIDIA GeForce GTX 980M 4Gb GDDR5 with G-SYNC
  • Storage: PCIeG3x4 256 GB SSD + 1 Tb 7200 RFM Western Digital Slim
  • Drive: Blu-Ray Burner


  • ASUS ROG Swift PG27UQR 27" 4K UHD 160 Hz FreeSync Premium Monitor


  • AULA F2088 Gray Mechanical Gaming Keyboard with Black Tactile Switches
  • ASUS ROG Gladius II Aura Sync USB Wired Optical 12,000 DPI Gaming Mouse
  • Logitech C920S HD Pro Webcam with Privacy Shutter


Media Server

Commissioned: October 2017
Refits: March 2021
Mission: Intelligence
OS: Linux QTS 4.3


  • NAS: QNAP TVS-873
  • Processor: AMD R-Series RX-421BD Quad-Core 2.1 Ghz APU
  • Memory: 16 Gb Dual Channel DDR4 RAM
  • Networking: Four Gigabit LAN Ports
  • Storage: WD Red 8 Tb NAS Hard Drive x 8 in a RAID-5 Configuration (64 Tb accessible, 56 Tb usable)



The Zephyr

Commissioned: July 2020
Mission: Tour of Duty
Refits: June 2023
OS: Windows 11 Pro 64-Bit


  • Laptop: ASUS ROG Zephyrus G14 14" GA401IV-BR9N6 Gaming Laptop
  • Processor: AMD Ryzen 9 4900HS 2.3 Ghz Octo-Core Processor
  • Memory: 16 Gb DDR4-3200 RAM
  • Graphics: ASUS NVIDIA GeForce RTX 2060 Max-Q 8 Gb GDDR5
  • Storage: 1 Tb SSD Hard Drive Storage
  • Screen: 14" 120 Hz G-SYNC LED Display FHD


  • HP Pavilion 32" LED QHD Monitor


  • Corsair Vengeance K70 Cherry MX Red Gaming Keyboard, Red LED
  • Corsair Dark Core RGB Pro SE Wireless Optical Gaming Mouse
  • Harmon Kardon Rev A00 Stereo Speakers
  • Logitech G430 Surrounding Gaming Headset
  • Logitech Extreme 3D Pro Joystick
  • Logitech F310 Gamepad


The Dark Faerie

Commissioned: June 2018
Refits: December 2023
Mission: Tour of Duty
OS: Windows 10 64-Bit


  • Laptop: ASUS ROG Zephyrus M GM501GS-XS74
  • Processor: Intel Core i7-8750H 3.9 Ghz
  • Memory: 16 Gb DDR4-2666 RAM
  • Graphics: ASUS NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1070 8 Gb GDDR5 with G-SYNC
  • Storage: PCIeG3x4 256 Gb SSD + 1 Tb FireCuda
  • Screen: 15.6" G-SYNC IPS 144 Hz IPS-Type LED Display


  • Sunffice Cute Hamster Mouse, Wireless 2.4 Ghz 1,200 DPI




Commissioned: October 2011
Refits: June 2017
Mission: Command and Control
Decomissioned: August 2019
OS: Ubuntu Linux 64-Bit


  • Case: Antec Three Hundred
  • Motherboard: Gigabyte GA-880GB-D2H ATX
  • Processor: AMD AM3 Phenom II x6 Hex-Core 1055T
  • Memory: Corsair Vengeance 8GB DDR3-1333/1600 RAM
  • Graphics: EVGA NVIDIA GeForce GTX 760 4Gb 256-Bit GDDR5
  • Storage: Western Digital Caviar 7200 RPM, 500 Gb
  • Power: MK Power MKX-850 Watts PSU
  • Optical: LG Super Multi 24x DVD+/- RW


  • Samsung U28E590D 28-Inch UHD LED-Lit Monitor


  • Razer BlackWidow Ultimate Edition Mechanical Gaming Keyboard
  • Razer DeathAdder Chromo 10,000 DPI Gaming Mouse
  • Razer Nostromo Gaming Keypad



Commissioned: December 2006
Refits: 2007, 2010-2011, 2014
Decommissioned: October 2017
Mission: Strategic Operations
OS: Windows 7 Ultimate 64-Bit


  • Case: Thermaltake Armor MX
  • Motherboard: EVGA nForce 790i SLI 775 ATX
  • Processor: Intel Core 2 Quad Q9650
  • Memory: Corsair Vengeance 8GB DDR3-1333/1600 RAM
  • Graphics: EVGA NVIDIA GeForce GTX 560 Ti 1 Gb
  • Storage: Western Digital VelociRaptor 10,000 RPM, 300 Gb
  • Backup: Western Digital Caviar 7,200 RPM, 500 Gb
  • Power: EVGA Supernova Platinum-2 1210-Watt PSU
  • Optical: Mad Dog LightScribe Triple Format 9.4 Gb 18x DVD+/- RW


  • Das Keyboard Model S Ultimate
  • Logitech G15 Gaming Keyboard
  • Razer Lachesis 5,600 DPI Gaming Mouse

Crazy Cellar

The Broadcaster

Commissioned: July 2013
Refits: 2017
Mission: Propaganda and Indoctrination
Decommissioned: October 2017
OS: Windows 8.1 Pro 64-Bit


  • Case: nMedia Home Theater PC Chassis 5000B
  • Motherboard: ASUS P8Z77-M mATX
  • Processor: Intel Core i3 3245
    • Arctic Alpine 11 Pro Rev. 2 CPU Cooler
  • Memory: Corsair Vengeance 16 GB DDR3-1600/1866 RAM
  • Storage: Seagate Barracuda 7,200 RPM, 4 Tb x 3 (12 Tb)
  • Power: Modular 650 Watts PSU
  • Optical: Pioneer 15x BDR, DVDR, CDR 4Mb Buffer BDR 208DBK


The Voice

Commissioned: January 2012
Retrofitted: January 2022, December 2023
Decommissioned: December 2019, Museum Candidate
Mission: Consultative Legation
OS: Elementary OS 7.1


  • Laptop: Apple MacBook Pro 17", Late 2011 - HW-Probe
  • Processor: Intel Core i7 2.4 Ghz Quad-Core
  • Memory: 8GB DDR3-1333 SDRAM (two 4 GB SO-DIMMs)
  • Graphics: Intel HD Graphics 3000 and AMD Radeon HD 6770M
  • Storage: 750 Gb Serial ATA, 5,400 RPM
  • Screen: 17-inch high-resolution LED backlit glossy, 1920x1200 resolution